


Thirty days

by MaddieLys



Series: Anybody capable of love is capable of being saved. [2]
Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Sibling Incest, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 15:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7176650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieLys/pseuds/MaddieLys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian asked Clary for a month to make her fall in love and she gave it to him. Live, coexist and understand each other is not obvious as it seems, also because he shows no signs of wanting to renounce war. Being siblings does not help: they're perfect strangers who have only seen the worst of the other. Yet, both are determined to conquer the heart and soul of the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First day ~ Surprise

The work table smelled new. The white lacquer was untouched, as the drawing materials. They called her. They whispered to be there for her.  
Clary patted them, tested the softness of the chair and took a piece of chalk. The powdery feel on the fingertips almost touched her. She sat.  
New York took shape under the nimble fingers. It absorbed her so much that she didn’t notice Sebastian until he touched her neck.  
“You ruined the surprise, little sister, but at least I chosen well.” he whispered in her ear. He kissed her cheek and smiled.  
Clary blushed. “You did.”


	2. Second day ~ Music

Sebastian was taking ages, damn him.  
She also had the right to wash and, unfortunately, the house had only one bathroom. As soon as he got out of the shower, she would tell him a thing or two. She raised her fist to knock, but stopped in mid-gesture.  
Sebastian was singing. It was something in French, maybe. With the roar of the shower it was difficult to recognize words. Certainly, though, he was intoned.  
_In this, he is like Jace._ she thought. _And like me._  
The door opened and revealed Sebastian, bound only by a kilt sponge. He smiled mischievous.


	3. Third day ~ Heat

“Would you like to go out?”  
Clary jerked his head. She looked like a canary, so confused. And it was adorable. “To go where?”  
Sebastian shrugged. “Wherever you want. This house moves as the other one.”  
Clary chewed fingernail. So little was enough to corrupt her? _Yes._ “I’ve always dreamed of seeing the Prado.” she admitted.  
Sebastian nodded and fumbled with the door.  
Clary took a coat and accepted his elbow. It was the first time she was so close to him without groped to kill each other.  
His arm encircled her hips. It was almost hot as the rest.


	4. Fourth day ~ Breakfast

Sebastian was a lousy cook. He couldn’t help it.  
She swallowed hard, but, it would be easier to swallow crushed glass. She pursued her lips and braced herself with a sip of orange juice.  
“It’s so horrible?”  
Clary bit her lip.  
“I guess I cannot be perfect in everything.”  
She let out a laugh, which quickly repressed.  
“If my cooking makes you laugh, maybe I should prepare breakfast more often. You’re beautiful when you laugh.”  
Clary flushed. “I’ll take care. I don’t want to starve.”   
“As you wish, little sisters.” he granted and smiled. “You’re beautiful even when you blush.”


	5. Fifth day ~ Coffee

The coffee aroma tickles her nose and pushed her to open one eye, then the other. It came from a white ceramic cup completely harmless, if it hadn’t been for the one who handed it to her.  
She glanced suspiciously to the drink and Sebastian.  
He smiled. “I bought it, don’t worry.”   
Clary laughed. “You should learn to do it by yourself.” she said, but she accepted the offer.   
“You could teach me.”  
“Yeah, I could.” she admitted. “But... what would you give me in return?”  
Sebastian pretended to think. “What would you like?”  
“You know what.”  
Sebastian didn’t answer.


	6. Sixth day ~ Pancakes

The bacon was sizzling in the pan, the pancakes were almost golden and the smell of coffee was flooding the kitchen.  
Clary was whistling, armed with a spatula. She missed her iPod, even if she would not used it lightly anymore. “Good morning.” she said, put breakfast on the table.  
Sebastian, in a dressing gown and slippers, smiled. He stared at the dishes’ contents as if seeing it for the first time.  
Clary laughed. “You will learn to love them.” she assured. She had never thought about it, but she began to realize how many things her brother had lost.


	7. Seventh day ~ Movie

The end credits of _The Devil Wears Prada_ filled the TV’s screen.  
“I always thought you women in charge were dangerous.” said Sebastian. He untied the embrace around his sister’s tiny shoulders just to stray a strand from her face and bring it back behind her ear. Don’t kiss her was hard.  
Clary shivered. “At least, I haven’t tried to destroy the world.”  
Sebastian laughed. He kissed her forehead and stood up. “I have to go out.” he said. “I’ll be late. Do not wait me up.”  
Clary pursed her lips and bit her tongue. She had a bad feeling.


	8. Eighth day ~ Blood

He had not returned, nor late at night, nor for breakfast.  
Clary bit her lip for the millionth time. She wouldn’t have to worry that way for him, but she couldn’t help it. If only she had a stylus or an angelic sword, could... what? Help him? She would have to hope that he had died, instead. She shook her head. No, she couldn’t do that. He was still her brother and she was starting to understand him.  
The door opened with a crash and Sebastian collapsed on the floor, covered in blood and with her name on the lips.


	9. Ninth day ~ Iratze

Sebastian slept. He had done nothing else all day, even while she was cleaning his wounds and applied the Iratze. In his sleep, resembled more to Jace.  
Clary stroked his face. If she didn’t know with whom she was dealing, she said he was the picture of innocence. It was easy, then, to forget what he had done only a few months before. She gave way to the shower’s lure, but it didn’t help to calm her nerves. She looked for a book to keep awake and lay alongside Sebastian. His hair between her fingers were more useful than Dickens.


	10. Tenth day ~ Awakening

Clary rolled over in bed and opened her eyes.  
Sebastian wasn’t there.  
She pulled up and called him, but the smell of blood made her head spin.  
“I’m in the kitchen.” She was inexplicably relieved to hear his voice and reached him. “What are you doing?”  
He smiled, leaning against the counter with his right hip. “You slept so well...”  
Clary flushed. “Go back to bed.” she ordered. “I prepare lunch.”  
Sebastian was unable to resist. He went back into the hallway and almost stumbled.  
She steadied him just in time.  
He hugged her and inhaled her scent. “Thank you.”


	11. Eleventh day ~ Glances

Sebastian put the book down. “Sis, I know I’m beautiful, but you’re consuming me, looking at me like that.”  
Clary glared at him and curled up better in her half of the sofa.  
Sebastian, semi-reclining against the other armrest, leaned forward and pulled her to him. “Why did not you tell me you got, instead of throwing gloomy glances?”   
Clary hugged him and laid her head on his chest.  
His brother’s heart was beating like any other.  
“I was worried about you.” she admitted and sighed. “I wish that this war had never started.”  
Sebastian closed his eyes. “Me too.”


	12. Twelfth day ~ Doe

Clary snorted. The temptation to throw the pencil against a wall was strong.  
Sebastian’s hands lapped her shoulder. They were warm and gentle as she’d never imagined. “What’s the matter, sister?”  
Clary sank his face into her palms until slide her fingers through her hair. “It’s almost Christmas, but the house is bare and I’m tired of being locked in here and do nothing.”  
Sebastian interrupted the massage. “No, Clarissa.” he whispered. “ _Forget it._ ”  
His sister showed off a doe look. “You never did, right?” she teased him.  
“I...”  
She laughed. “I’ll make you a crash course, don’t be afraid.”


	13. Thirteenth day ~ Decorations

Clary’s idea of “some decorations” had to be revised, Sebastian was convinced. That radiant smile _couldn’t_ be an excuse. “Now I understand why we didn’t celebrating it.” he muttered and hid a smile behind the envelopes.  
Clary put away hers and helped him with them. “You hadn’t the eye of an artist. That’s why.”  
He took her by her hips. “And you did?” he whispered on her lips.  
She blushed, but didn’t budge. “Course I did.”  
“I hope so for you, otherwise no gift will divert me from make you pay.”  
“It will be the best Christmas ever.”  
Sebastian smiled.


	14. Fifteenth day ~ Eve

_Can a wrinkle make a woman beautiful?_  
On Clary’s face, resting between the eyebrows, it did wonders.  
Sebastian smiled, leaning with his elbows on the marble top. “How is it going?”  
“It’s going.”  
“Do you want help?” He had never cooked in his life and, it seemed, had no talent, but he could try. It couldn’t be harder than learn how to kill with his bare hands and Clarissa wasn’t Valentine.  
She chewed on a fingernail. “What do you think about cleaning the squids?”  
“Are you saying I can’t do it, sister?”  
“Who, me?” She blinked and grinned.  
They laughed.


	15. Fifteenth day ~ Christmas

The lunch’s remains were lying on the table.  
Clary, curled up on the couch against Sebastian’s chest, rolled the package between her fingers. _He even did this by himself?_ The interlocking imperfect told her yes. A pang of guilt pinched her. She couldn’t think of a gift for him. She tore the wrapping.  
It was a stylus.  
The pang became a crack. “I got nothing for you.”   
Sebastian smiled. “I know.” He stroked her lips with his own. “But what I want can’t be wrapped.”  
Clary froze. “Sebastian...”  
“Not Sebastian. Jonathan.” he corrected her and kissed her again.  
Clary returned.


	16. Sixteenth day ~ Coal

Clary tore up Sebastian’s umpteenth portrait. She slaps her cheeks and took a clean sheet. She thought of Jace. She drew the contours of the face, the neck and the shoulders.  
The design took shape, but more details she added, less it resembled the model. It had the Sebastian’s eyes, his eyebrows as a satyr and those thin lips. It almost seemed to defy her, or perhaps to mock her; yet, the smile was sweet.  
She brushed the profile of the cheekbone with his fingertips, that dyed of coal. She smiled. She would have repented, but could not throw it.


	17. Seventeenth day ~ Both

Sebastian was whistling, when he entered the kitchen. He was wearing the battle dress and a veil of sweat, but no visible wound. He took a water’s bottle from the fridge and drank.  
Clary smiled. “Why such a good mood?”  
“Taipei’s Institute fell. Soon we will be ready to take Alicante.” He gave her a wolfish grin kissed her cheek. “Tonight we’re going to celebrate.”  
Clary’s stomach twisted. _We will. Both. I am his partner._ “So you decided to go through with it?”  
Sebastian nodded and stroked her cheek. “It is the only way to have you by my side.”


	18. Eighteenth day ~ Why

Clary put the dishes in the sink and the cutlery clinked against the ceramic. “It’s unfair.” she said.  
Sebastian held her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder. “What is it, sister?”  
She stroked the back of his hands. “Fighting.” she whispered. He had thought all day and couldn’t keep it inside.  
The muscles of his brother tensed. “You’ll never be on my side.”  
Clary looked down on their fingers intertwined. “Jonathan...”  
“Why can’t you choose me?”  
He swallowed. “You know why.”  
He breathed in her scent. “Yes, I know.” He untied the tight and left the room.


	19. Nineteenth day ~ Caricature

Clary took a deep breath and spied on him from above the album, torn between say something or stay quiet.  
He sat composed in a chair, with his legs crossed and the book leaning against his knees.  
She chewed pencil until she felt the taste of wood and knew how to make him pay. She shot a caricature in robe and bunny slippers, whistling while the kitchen was on fire. In one corner she put herself, resigned. She made a paper plane and threw it to him.  
He opened it. “You have a great hand, sister.” he said and laughed.


	20. Twentieth day ~ Hug

Jonathan’s hug was warm. It was her reason to sit crouched with him.  
“Do you think I would have liked to live among the mundane, if Jocelyn had taken me with her?”  
Clary imagined him as a child, with a blue pajamas with spaceships prints, watching cartoons with her. It was obvious and absurd at the same time and made her laugh. “I think it would have made you happy.” she answered. “It would be nice to grow up together.”  
“I would still fell in love with you.”  
Clary flushed. “I don’t think so: I was a pest.”  
He smiled.


	21. Twenty-first day ~ Abyss

She was having _fun_. Tight against Jonathan’s body, with strobe lights that danced on their bodies swaying and music that vibrated in her ears, he felt free. Tied her hands behind his neck, she threw his head back and laughed.  
His hands on her hips lifted her up and narrowed, chest to chest.  
Clary was lost in his eyes and wished to burn. She tempted him and she knew that it would be enough to lean just a little to fall into the abyss. She kissed him, drunk of his scent.  
Jonathan accepted the invitation. “I want you.”  
“I’m virgin.”


	22. Twenty-second day ~ Morning

Clary opened her eyes.  
Jonathan was smiling in his sleep, and encircles her waist with one arm.  
She closed her eyes and balled against his warm chest, loath to leave the safety of sleep. She blushed and mumbled.  
Jonathan’s close strengthened and his lips silenced her.  
She clung to him and kissed him back. “Good morning.” she whispered in his mouth.  
“Good morning.”  
Clary sat back, cradled by his caresses. “For last night...”  
Jonathan lifted her chin and drew her lips with his fingers. “I’m not a monster, Clarissa.” he whispered in her ear.  
She shiverd and smiled. “I know.”


	23. Twenty-third day ~ Training

The sweat glistened on their skins, but only Clary was out of breath.  
Jonathan grinned. “I remembered you were more combative than that.”   
“I am.” she protested and loaded a kick, but it crashed into his guard. Instead of tumbling to the ground, she ended in his arms.  
“I don’t think so.” insisted him and bit her lips. He licked them and deepened the kiss.  
Clary sank her fingers in his hair and weave her tongue with his. “You’ll regret having been so cocky.”   
His eyes sparkled. “Or I’ll have another excuse to kiss you.”  
_Certainly you don’t need that._


	24. Twenty-fourth day ~ Insomnia

Clary sighed and buried her face in the pillow.  
Jonathan rubbed her back from beneath her undershirt. “Can’t you sleep?”  
She laced her fingers with his and smiled. “To many thoughts.”  
“I could help.” he suggested and kissed her throat from collarbone to ear.  
Clary bit her lip. “We’re siblings.”  
“But we belong each other.” He drew arabesques on her skin with his fingertips. “And you know it.”  
“You don’t need sex for have me.”  
He turned toward her. “Do you think this is why?”  
Clary flushed.  
He shook his head and twirled a strand around his finger. “You silly.”


	25. Twenty-fifth day ~ Dublin

Dublin’s sky was so blue that it was hurting their eyes. Dotted with white clouds, it brought out Clary’s colors.  
Jonathan pushed the empty cup and took her hands. “You’re tense since morning.”  
His sister squeezed back and stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. “I’m fine.”  
“I don’t buy it.” He pursued his lips. “If you’re not happy with me, I can report you to Idris.”  
She shook her head. “That’s not the problem.” she admitted, sighing. “I wish there was a way to not miss neither you nor them.”  
Jonathan’s stomach twisted. “There isn’t.”  
“I know.”


	26. Twenty-sixth day ~ Soldier

Clary gave to Jonathan the wet plate and took a glass. “How you used to be, as a child?”  
He wiped it. “Alone. Introverted.” He shook his head. “Our father never encouraged me to be different. I was always just a soldier for him.”  
“Did you ever think of... looking for us?”  
“Often, yes. But just to hurt you.” He put the rag down. “To hurt _Jocelyn_.”  
She turned off the water. “She doesn’t hate you, Jonathan.”  
Her brother’s eyes hardened and Clary read in them a hatred that the demon blood could only amplify. “She abandoned me with him.”


	27. Twenty-seventh day ~ Hands

Clary laid his head on the shoulder of Jonathan and closed her eyes.  
He stroked her hair. “You should lie down, if you’re sleepy.”  
“I’m fine.” She groped his free hand and laced her cold fingers with it. She hid her right behind his back and smiled. “There’s nothing in this world that you would like to save?”  
“Except you, you mean?”  
She blushed. “Except me.”  
“I don’t know.” Jonathan whispered. “There are many other universes beyond this, that we might explore.” He pulled her to him and inhaled the scent of her hair. “Maybe just what makes you happy.”


	28. Twenty-eighth day ~ Portrait

Clary frowned. “Jonathan, the meaning of ‘pose’ is ‘stay still’.”   
He smiled. “You’re just afraid that your eye may fall where it shouldn’t.”  
“You could do it dressed.”  
“It wouldn’t be fun.” He winked.  
Clary blushed. “What would you do, if you won the war?”  
Jonathan stroked his chin with the hand that should cover him. “I would build a world in which you could be mine.”  
_An ash world._ She squeezed the pencil until her knuckles became pale. “And if that would make me unhappy?”  
“I’ll never give up on you, Clary. _Never_.”  
“What if there was another way?”


	29. Twenty-ninth day ~ Kamasutra

Clary glanced at the contents of Jonathan’s book over his shoulder and blushed. “Pervert.” she accused him, against his neck’s skin.   
He laughed. “You wouldn’t think that, if you were mine.”  
“I am already yours.” She kissed him. “Since I was born.”  
Jonathan pulled her on his lap. “You could be more so.” He caressed her flat stomach with his nails and smiled when she was shivered.  
She licked his lips and bit them. “Would you forget the war, if I did?”  
“Are you trying to bribe me?”  
“Only if I am succeeding.”  
“Mh. You can do better.”  
Clary grinned.


	30. Thirtieth day ~ Last

Clary poured the chocolate in a cup. She absorbed it’s heat and curled up in Jonathan’s armchair. _This is our last day together and he spend it out._ As soon as he returned, she would have made a scolding slap. “So he’ll learn.”   
The door clicked and Jonathan smiled to her. Enveloped in his black jacket, he looked paler than usual.  
Clary stood up. “Are you okay?”  
Jonathan hugged her. “I’m fine.” he swore and kissed her lips.  
Her hands immediately found his neck. “I don’t believe you.”  
“Then I’ll have to convince you.” He smiled. “And I know how.”


End file.
